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| Tips on Breaking Addiction Patterns |
The important thing to remember here is that the patterns keep the real feelings at bay, and prevent actual healing from taking place. It's necessary to cry the pain underlying every pattern in order to truly stop the spinning and destructive behaviors. If you simply attempt to stop the pattern or force a change in the behavior, you'll often find yourself drifting into another addiction. You may exchange smoking for eating, eating for exercise, alcohol for people, and so on.
In order to change the pattern and break the addiction completely, we must get beneath the pattern to the source, to the pain running undercurrent.
As we said above, it's very common for strong addictive natures to have more than one addiction pattern running, or to have many emotional sources for their addictions. We usually call these people addictive personalities. When the patterns combine and intertwine, it's extremely difficult to break free. You may feel like you're swimming upstream against a very strong current. It would be so much easier to just let go, drift with the current, fall back into the addictive behavior! Especially when others seem to have it so much easier, or seem to have so much more "self-control" . Self-control is not the issue here. So, try not to fall into the judgment/comparison spiral here, where you feel like a failure compared to others. Perhaps others who can easily quit their addictions simply have less to contend with.
Below are some tips for breaking addiction patterns. These are intended as helpful tips, and are not meant to be a replacement for getting help from a therapist or recovery center if the addiction has reached the life threatening level:
Work in small steps: Withhold the addiction for a short period of time, just long enough to feel your pain begin to surface. While the pain is coming up, quick, grab the opportunity to let it release. Have a really good cry, let the fear/rage/heartbrea k/whatever come pouring out. Even if it's just rage at "you" for withholding the addiction, let it express, for as long and as deeply as you can. When the expression reaches a natural stopping point, take some deep breaths. Feel into your body, try to feel where the desire for the addiction is, and if it's lessened. Try some of the other tips on this list. And then, if you still need it, go ahead and let yourself have the cigarette, drink, whatever it is. And don't beat yourself up for it. Each time you do this, you'll have worked through another layer of the onion of your pain, and eventually you'll reach a place where the addiction shifts all by itself.
Feed the Baby: If your addiction pattern sources mainly from a Needy Baby, find ways to feed the baby other than the addiction. Let the Needy Baby cry, first and foremost, of course. But also let her/him speak to you, try to find the core needs. Try to find some things that will comfort and nurture your Needy Baby.
Get support: It's much easier to work on addictions in the light, with others who are able to help and understand what you're going through. Working alone is possible, but it's so much easier to lie to yourself and drift back into addiction when there's nobody else to see it.
Try to shift to a different addiction: While you're working on your primary addiction, you may reach a point where the primary loosens its hold, but you're not quite ready to go completely without. Don't underestimate the enormity of the terror and pain that will surface during this process! Going "cold turkey" is not possible for some of us. And if you have an addiction that is especially self-destructive, like cutting for instance, you might want to consciously redirect the addiction to something else. It's like putting a pacifier in the mouth of the addiction. And be sure that if you do this, you find something LESS destructive, not more.
Do something active: Do something to distract yourself from the addiction. Go for a brisk walk. Turn on some music really loud and dance wildly around the room. Take a very hot shower. Get your awareness into your body and away from the addiction, and from the need/desire/ pain for a moment. This tactic will only work for short periods of time. You must heal the source, not just constantly avoid the symptoms.
Bring in the Light: Meditate as often as you can. Imagine and appropriate - bring in loving light in a form that your inner parts can accept. FEEL loving light bathing you and fulfilling you. If you can begin to imagine feeling better, more hopeful, loved, and worthy, you're on the way to beating the addiction. Imagining these feelings is also a really good way to trigger all the contrary (unworthy) feelings to the surface to be dealt with. And that's the most important tool of all.
Clean House: Remove things that trigger the addiction. Get the stuff out of your sight, out of your reach. Make it harder to get to. Stay away from people, places, and situations that will draw you back in. This may mean you have to make new friends. Sad, but true, often addicts choose friends that will participate, or at least enable the addiction.
Tell somebody: Some addictions live only in the dark, when you're alone, in silence and private ritual. If you tell somebody, you are no longer alone with it, and the addiction pattern can no longer hide. If you decide to see a therapist, TELL them about your addiction.
Make sure you're getting what you need: Eat well, and enough. Take vitamin supplements, especially if your addiction is drugs or alcohol. Drink plenty of water. If you can't stand the taste of plain water, put a little lemon in it. Water can help flush toxins out of your system.
Prepare for withdrawal: Find out what you might have to deal with in advance. If you're facing drug or alcohol withdrawal, find out what symptoms you might be facing. If you think you're ready to go "cold-turkey" , you might want to prepare in advance for a few days (weeks!) of suffering. Ask for time off from work, don't try to just tough it out. Prepare your family and friends, so they know you might be cranky for a while. If withdrawal symptoms can be treated, check with a doctor, or nutritionist, and get ready in advance.
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